Will I Ever See My Dead Cat Again
Getting a new cat tin sometimes feel wrong after losing another. Is information technology possible to work through the grief and acquire to dearest over again?
Equally true cat owners, words cannot depict how distressing it is when a beloved cat passes away. Although grief is a completely natural reaction to loss, sometimes the pain can make us fearful of ever loving a cat again. The heartache can seem so overwhelming and the devotion to our true cat's memory so strong, that people are sometimes faced with feelings of fear or disloyalty if they consider getting a new cat.
In order to sympathize where these alien feelings may be coming from, it is important to take how intense grief can be. When a true cat passes away, owners can go through the same grieving process as they would for whatsoever other family fellow member. Only pet-related grief is however not widely recognised in lodge, and we are frequently expected to 'just go on with information technology'.
Sadder still, owners are sometimes faced with having to brand a decision about when it is best to let their cats go, and that in itself tin can feel an unfair responsibility. Similarly, decease can occur suddenly equally a event of tragic circumstances. Is it therefore whatsoever wonder that we may have trouble processing our bereavement?
How can I bargain with the grief of losing my cat?
Cathy Payne, from Devon, lost her half-dozen-yr-sometime tortie, Rosie, in a road accident. "I think the final time I saw her," explains Cathy. "I was playing with my son when she trotted by and miaowed to go out. I opened the window as I had many times earlier; she sat in that location for a moment looking dorsum at u.s., and then hopped off equally usual to have an adventure.
"The next morn, the phone rang and I could hear my husband asking 'Is she expressionless?' My blood ran cold every bit I rushed downstairs. He said only, 'It'south Rosie, she's been hit by a car'. The following days were devastating. Non only did I take to carry on with work, but I had to explain to my three-year-quondam daughter why Mummy and Daddy were crying, and why Rosie wasn't coming home for her breakfast."
A logical reaction to such pain is to avoid whatever acquired this hurt in the outset place, and sadly for Cathy, and for many other cat lovers, the idea of going through the grief over again is just too much, even if years of beloved came before.
3 years after losing Rosie, Cathy said: "Three years on, and we are still pitiful about losing Rosie in such a devastating fashion, and nosotros will never get another cat. If the same thing happened again, I wouldn't forgive myself."
Interestingly, Cathy then went on to have ii Labradors. "I don't worry about the dogs as they are walked on the lead, merely I dread the twenty-four hours they volition naturally die. Losing Rosie has reminded us to treasure every twenty-four hours with them."
But what if nosotros desperately miss having a cat in our lives, yet feel equally if we are disloyal if we look for another one?
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Don't experience guilty if yous do go another cat
Daniel Ransom, from London, recalls this dilemma when he and his girlfriend suddenly lost their eight-year-old cat, Ragamuffin, to cancer.
"Ragamuffin'due south death shocked us and we were left completely heartbroken," Daniel explains. "Our home felt empty without a cat, but, whenever we considered getting a new true cat, we felt as if nosotros were replacing her.
"We somewhen went to our local rehoming shelter and asked to run across the cat who had been in that location the longest. By bringing dwelling house a really deserving cat, we somehow felt that we could justify the decision. We came home with Toby, a black and white moggy, who had been waiting for a dwelling for over a yr."
Of course, this suggests that it is non only united states who may miss out on true cat buying as a consequence of grief, merely also cats themselves. Celia Hammond, founder of the Celia Hammond Animal Trust which rescues and rehomes thousands of cats every twelvemonth, believes that pet bereavement tin negatively bear upon the charge per unit of rehoming.
"We experience grief-associated guilt from prospective owners all the time. Someone may come in with good intentions of homing a cat, merely it can quickly become too much and they'll end up in tears over how they can't accept another i," explains Celia. "Nosotros could make full our shelters half-dozen times over with rescued cats. Nosotros're so overcrowded; nosotros simply cannot go along up with the slow charge per unit of rehoming."
Possibly our focus, therefore, should be on using our ingrained love for cats for further good, and view owning a new cat as an opportunity to provide a loving habitation. Celia agrees, and explains how guilt, although natural, is non necessary: "Never feel guilty. I always say that owning once again is the biggest compliment that you could ever pay your cat."
Choosing another cat
Withal, what sort of cat should we bring abode? Should we try to detect one that reminds united states of america of our old friend?
"Go for one completely different," Celia recommends. "Otherwise, the similarity will never match up."
Daniel as well agreed with this sentiment: "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel strange when we offset brought Toby home. He's and then dissimilar to Ragamuffin that he almost seemed like an intruder! But, two months on, we now utterly love Toby for the individual true cat that he is."
So how has Daniel learnt to love a new cat and preserve Ragamuffin's retentiveness? "Toby has become and then warm and appreciating, and it may sound lightheaded, but he just seems really grateful to accept a habitation! I recollect that Ragamuffin would approve."
Words by Claire Newton-Ransom.
Is your true cat also grieving?
Does your cat seem downwards later the decease of another pet? He could also be grieving their loss.
It is ofttimes mistakenly causeless that because of cats' more independent personalities and lone nature they practice non experience grief following the loss of other cats in the household. Suddenly becoming the merely cat volition involve an aligning procedure for your cat. The grief process is exactly this - an adjustment to loss. Your cat may be nevertheless be searching for his feline friend and need more time to arrange to him not being around.
Firstly, seeking veterinary advice is of import to make sure that there is no underlying physiological reason for any modify in your cat'south personality. It may be helpful to minimise change in your cat's environment as much equally possible for the short-term to reduce stress and anxiety.
If your cat's appetite has lessened, try warming his nutrient or adding some non-salty gravy, although it's wise to avoid radical changes in diet. Encourage play every bit much equally possible, and attempt to spend more than time preparation and stroking him.
Getting another feline companion straight away isn't advised, as your cat is in a transitional state of flux and needs, for at present, needs to have some sense of continuity. However, with the passage of time you and he may be prepare to integrate a new feline family fellow member.
Advice given by pet bereavement counsellor Sue Dawson.
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Source: https://www.yourcat.co.uk/cat-advice/is-it-possible-to-love-a-cat-again-after-losing-one/
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